Text FW 033

inged there a cuckoospit less eminent than the redritualhoods of1
Maccabe and Cullen) where, a veritable Napoleon the Nth, our2
worldstage's practical jokepiece and retired cecelticocommediant3
in his own wise, this folksforefather all of the time sat, having the4
entirety of his house about him, with the invariable broadstretched5
kerchief cooling his whole neck, nape and shoulderblades and in6
a wardrobe panelled tuxedo completely thrown back from a shirt7
well entitled a swallowall, on every point far outstarching the8
laundered clawhammers and marbletopped highboys of the pit9
stalls and early amphitheatre. The piece was this: look at the lamps.10
The cast was thus: see under the clock. Ladies circle: cloaks may11
be left. Pit, prommer and parterre, standing room only. Habituels12
conspicuously emergent.13
     A baser meaning has been read into these characters the literal 14
sense of which decency can safely scarcely hint. It has been blur-15
tingly bruited by certain wisecrackers (the stinks of Mohorat are16
in the nightplots of the morning), that he suffered from a vile17
disease. Athma, unmanner them! To such a suggestion the one18
selfrespecting answer is to affirm that there are certain statements19
which ought not to be, and one should like to hope to be able to20
add, ought not to be allowed to be made. Nor have his detractors,21
who, an imperfectly warmblooded race, apparently conceive him22
as a great white caterpillar capable of any and every enormity in23
the calendar recorded to the discredit of the Juke and Kellikek24
families, mended their case by insinuating that, alternately, he lay25
at one time under the ludicrous imputation of annoying Welsh26
fusiliers in the people's park. Hay, hay, hay! Hoq, hoq, hoq!27
Faun and Flora on the lea love that little old joq. To anyone who28
knew and loved the christlikeness of the big cleanminded giant29
H. C. Earwicker throughout his excellency long vicefreegal exis-30
tence the mere suggestion of him as a lustsleuth nosing for trou-31
ble in a boobytrap rings particularly preposterous. Truth, beard32
on prophet, compels one to add that there is said to have been33
quondam (pfuit! pfuit!) some case of the kind implicating, it is34
interdum believed, a quidam (if he did not exist it would be ne-35
cessary quoniam to invent him) abhout that time stambuling ha-36

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