„Charles Dickens: Please, Sir, I’d like a martini.
Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?
___________
James Joyce: I’ll take a Guinness.
Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here yesterday.
James Joyce: (drinks)
Bartender: And he asked for a martini and I said,
“Olive or twist?”
James Joyce: (drinks)
Bartender: You see, it’s funny because he wrote a book called “Oliver Twist.”
James Joyce: What a shitty joke.
___________
Ernest Hemingway: Gin.
Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here two days ago.
Ernest Hemingway: Joyce already told me that story. F*ck off.
__________
Mark Twain: Give me a brandy.
Bartender: So Charles Dickens came in the other day and ordered a martini.
Mark Twain: Did he take an olive or twist? Ha ha ha!
Bartender: (tearful) You did that on purpose, didn’t you?
___________
Virginia Woolf: I’ll take your second-best cognac and
unadulterated experience.
Bartender: We don’t have that. This is a bar.
Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns herself)“
(Annie Evett „Literary Jokes“)