Autor: CaSch

27
after Tom Bowe Glassarse or Timmy the Tosser. 'Tisraely the		1
truth! No isn't it, roman pathoricks? You were the doublejoynted		2
janitor the morning they were delivered and you'll be a grandfer		3
yet entirely when the ritehand seizes what the lovearm knows.		4
Kevin's just a doat with his cherub cheek, chalking oghres on		5
walls, and his little lamp and schoolbelt and bag of knicks, playing		6
postman's knock round the diggings and if the seep were milk		7
you could lieve his olde by his ide but, laus sake, the devil does		8
be in that knirps of a Jerry sometimes, the tarandtan plaidboy,		9
making encostive inkum out of the last of his lavings and writing		10
a blue streak over his bourseday shirt. Hetty Jane's a child of		11
Mary. She'll be coming (for they're sure to choose her) in her		12
white of gold with a tourch of ivy to rekindle the flame on Felix		13
Day. But Essie Shanahan has let down her skirts. You remember		14
Essie in our Luna's Convent? They called her Holly Merry her		15
lips were so ruddyberry and Pia de Purebelle when the redminers		16
riots was on about her. Were I a clerk designate to the Williams-		17
woodsmenufactors I'd poster those pouters on every jamb in the		18
town. She's making her rep at Lanner's twicenightly. With the		19
tabarine tamtammers of the whirligigmagees. Beats that cachucha		20
flat. 'Twould dilate your heart to go.		21
Aisy now, you decent man, with your knees and lie quiet and		22
repose your honour's lordship! Hold him here, Ezekiel Irons, and		23
may God strengthen you! It's our warm spirits, boys, he's spoor-		24
ing. Dimitrius O'Flagonan, cork that cure for the Clancartys ! You		25
swamped enough since Portobello to float the Pomeroy. Fetch		26
neahere, Pat Koy! And fetch nouyou, Pam Yates! Be nayther		27
angst of Wramawitch! Here's lumbos. Where misties swaddlum,		28
where misches lodge none, where mystries pour kind on, O		29
sleepy! So be yet!		30
I've an eye on queer Behan and old Kate and the butter, trust me.		31
She'll do no jugglywuggly with her war souvenir postcards to		32
help to build me murial, tippers! I'll trip your traps! Assure a		33
sure there! And we put on your clock again, sir, for you. Did or		34
didn't we, sharestutterers? So you won't be up a stump entirely.		35
Nor shed your remnants. The sternwheel's crawling strong. I		36

26
the pure perfection and Leatherbags Reynolds tries your shuffle		1
and cut. But as Hopkins and Hopkins puts it, you were the pale		2
eggynaggy and a kis to tilly up. We calls him the journeyall		3
Buggaloffs since he went Jerusalemfaring in Arssia Manor. You		4
had a gamier cock than Pete, Jake or Martin and your archgoose		5
of geese stubbled for All Angels' Day. So may the priest of seven		6
worms and scalding tayboil, Papa Vestray, come never anear you		7
as your hair grows wheater beside the Liffey that's in Heaven!		8
Hep, hep, hurrah there! Hero! Seven times thereto we salute		9
you! The whole bag of kits, falconplumes and jackboots incloted,		10
is where you flung them that time. Your heart is in the system		11
of the Shewolf and your crested head is in the tropic of Copri-		12
capron. Your feet are in the cloister of Virgo. Your olala is in the		13
region of sahuls. And that's ashore as you were born. Your shuck		14
tick's swell. And that there texas is tow linen. The loamsome		15
roam to Laffayette is ended. Drop in your tracks, babe! Be not		16
unrested ! The headboddylwatcher of the chempel of Isid,		17
Totumcalmum, saith: I know thee, metherjar, I know thee, sal-		18
vation boat. For we have performed upon thee, thou abrama-		19
nation, who comest ever without being invoked, whose coming		20
is unknown, all the things which the company of the precentors		21
and of the grammarians of Christpatrick's ordered concerning		22
thee in the matter of the work of thy tombing. Howe of the ship-		23
men, steep wall!		24
Everything's going on the same or so it appeals to all of us,		25
in the old holmsted here. Coughings all over the sanctuary, bad		26
scrant to me aunt Florenza. The horn for breakfast, one o'gong		27
for lunch and dinnerchime. As popular as when Belly the First		28
was keng and his members met in the Diet of Man. The same		29
shop slop in the window. Jacob's lettercrackers and Dr Tipple's		30
Vi-Cocoa and the Eswuards' desippated soup beside Mother Sea-		31
gull's syrup. Meat took a drop when Reilly-Parsons failed. Coal's		32
short but we've plenty of bog in the yard. And barley's up again,		33
begrained to it. The lads is attending school nessans regular, sir,		34
spelling beesknees with hathatansy and turning out tables by		35
mudapplication. Allfor the books and never pegging smashers		36

25
you presents, won't we, fenians? And il isn't our spittle we'll stint		1
you of, is it, druids? Not shabbty little imagettes, pennydirts and		2
dodgemyeyes you buy in the soottee stores. But offerings of the		3
field. Mieliodories, that Doctor Faherty, the madison man,		4
taught to gooden you. Poppypap's a passport out. And honey is		5
the holiest thing ever was, hive, comb and earwax, the food for		6
glory, (mind you keep the pot or your nectar cup may yield too		7
light !) and some goat's milk, sir, like the maid used to bring you.		8
Your fame is spreading like Basilico's ointment since the Fintan		9
Lalors piped you overborder and there's whole households be-		10
yond the Bothnians and they calling names after you. The men-		11
here's always talking of you sitting around on the pig's cheeks		12
under the sacred rooftree, over the bowls of memory where every		13
hollow holds a hallow, with a pledge till the drengs, in the Salmon		14
House. And admiring to our supershillelagh where the palmsweat		15
on high is the mark of your manument. All the toethpicks ever		16
Eirenesians chewed on are chips chepped from that battery		17
block. If you were bowed and soild and letdown itself from the		18
oner of the load it was that paddyplanters might pack up plenty and		19
when you were undone in every point fore the laps of goddesses		20
you showed our labourlasses how to free was easy. The game old		21
Gunne, they do be saying, (skull !) that was a planter for you, a		22
spicer of them all. Begog but he was, the G.O.G! He's dudd-		23
andgunne now and we're apter finding the sores of his sedeq		24
but peace to his great limbs, the buddhoch, with the last league		25
long rest of him, while the millioncandled eye of Tuskar sweeps		26
the Moylean Main ! There was never a warlord in Great Erinnes		27
and Brettland, no, nor in all Pike County like you, they say. No,		28
nor a king nor an ardking, bung king, sung king or hung king.		29
That you could fell an elmstree twelve urchins couldn't ring		30
round and hoist high the stone that Liam failed. Who but a Mac-		31
cullaghmore the reise of our fortunes and the faunayman at the		32
funeral to compass our cause? If you was hogglebully itself and		33
most frifty like you was taken waters still what all where was		34
your like to lay the cable or who was the batter could better		35
Your Grace? Mick Mac Magnus MacCawley can take you off to		36

24
to play cash cash in Novo Nilbud by swamplight nor a' toole o'		1
tall o' toll and noddy hint to the convaynience.		2
He dug in and dug out by the skill of his tilth for himself and		3
all belonging to him and he sweated his crew beneath his auspice		4
for the living and he urned his dread, that dragon volant, and he		5
made louse for us and delivered us to boll weevils amain, that		6
mighty liberator, Unfru-Chikda-Uru-Wukru and begad he did,		7
our ancestor most worshipful, till he thought of a better one in		8
his windower's house with that blushmantle upon him from ears-		9
end to earsend. And would again could whispring grassies wake		10
him and may again when the fiery bird disembers. And will		11
again if so be sooth by elder to his youngers shall be said. Have		12
you whines for my wedding, did you bring bride and bedding,		13
will you whoop for my deading is a? Wake? Usgueadbaugham!		14
Anam muck an dhoul ! Did ye drink me doornail?		15
Now be aisy, good Mr Finnimore, sir. And take your laysure		16
like a god on pension and don't be walking abroad. Sure you'd		17
only lose yourself in Healiopolis now the way your roads in		18
Kapelavaster are that winding there after the calvary, the North		19
Umbrian and the Fivs Barrow and Waddlings Raid and the		20
Bower Moore and wet your feet maybe with the foggy dew's		21
abroad. Meeting some sick old bankrupt or the Cottericks' donkey		22
with his shoe hanging, clankatachankata, or a slut snoring with an		23
impure infant on a bench. 'Twould turn you against life, so		24
twould. And the weather's that mean too. To part from Devlin		25
is hard as Nugent knew, to leave the clean tanglesome one lushier		26
than its neighbour enfranchisable fields but let your ghost have		27
no grievance. You're better off, sir, where you are, primesigned		28
in the full of your dress, bloodeagle waistcoat and all, remember-		29
ing your shapes and sizes on the pillow of your babycurls under		30
your sycamore by the keld water where the Tory's clay will scare		31
the varmints and have all you want, pouch, gloves, flask, bricket,		32
kerchief, ring and amberulla, the whole treasure of the pyre, in the		33
land of souls with Homin and Broin Baroke and pole ole Lonan		34
and Nobucketnozzler and the Guinnghis Khan. And we'll be		35
coming here, the ombre players, to rake your gravel and bringing		36

23
framed panuncular cumbottes like a rudd yellan gruebleen or-		1
angeman in his violet indigonation, to the whole longth of the		2
strongth of his bowman's bill. And he clopped his rude hand to		3
his eacy hitch and he ordurd and his thick spch spck for her to		4
shut up shop, dappy. And the duppy shot the shutter clup (Per-		5
kodhuskurunbarggruauyagokgorlayorgromgremmitghundhurth-		6
rumathunaradidillifaititillibumullunukkunun!) And they all drank		7
free. For one man in his armour was a fat match always for any		8
girls under shurts. And that was the first peace of illiterative		9
porthery in all the flamend floody flatuous world. How kirssy the		10
tiler made a sweet unclose to the Narwhealian captol. Saw fore		11
shalt thou sea. Betoun ye and be. The prankquean was to hold		12
her dummyship and the jimminies was to keep the peacewave		13
and van Hoother was to git the wind up. Thus the hearsomeness		14
of the burger felicitates the whole of the polis.		15
O foenix culprit! Ex nickylow malo comes mickelmassed bo-		16
num. Hill, rill, ones in company, billeted, less be proud of. Breast		17
high and bestride! Only for that these will not breathe upon		18
Norronesen or Irenean the secrest of their soorcelossness. Quar-		19
ry silex, Homfrie Noanswa! Undy gentian festyknees, Livia No-		20
answa? Wolkencap is on him, frowned; audiurient, he would		21
evesdrip, were it mous at hand, were it dinn of bottles in the far		22
ear. Murk, his vales are darkling. With lipth she lithpeth to him		23
all to time of thuch on thuch and thow on thow. She he she ho		24
she ha to la. Hairfluke, if he could bad twig her! Impalpabunt,		25
he abhears. The soundwaves are his buffeteers; they trompe him		26
with their trompes; the wave of roary and the wave of hooshed		27
and the wave of hawhawhawrd and the wave of neverheedthem-		28
horseluggarsandlisteltomine. Landloughed by his neaghboormis-		29
tress and perpetrified in his offsprung, sabes and suckers, the		30
moaning pipers could tell him to his faceback, the louthly one		31
whose loab we are devorers of, how butt for his hold halibutt, or		32
her to her pudor puff, the lipalip one whose libe we drink at, how		33
biff for her tiddywink of a windfall, our breed and washer givers,		34
there would not be a holey spier on the town nor a vestal flout-		35
ing in the dock, nay to make plein avowels, nor a yew nor an eye		36

22
the dummy in their first infancy were below on the tearsheet,		1
wringing and coughing, like brodar and histher. And the prank-		2
quean nipped a paly one and lit up again and redcocks flew flack-		3
ering from the hillcombs. And she made her witter before the		4
wicked, saying: Mark the Twy, why do I am alook alike two poss		5
of porterpease? And: Shut! says the wicked, handwording her		6
madesty. So her madesty 'a forethought' set down a jiminy and		7
took up a jiminy and all the lilipath ways to Woeman's Land she		8
rain, rain, rain. And Jarl von Hoother bleethered atter her with		9
a loud finegale: Stop domb stop come back with my earring stop.		10
But the prankquean swaradid: Am liking it. And there was a wild		11
old grannewwail that laurency night of starshootings somewhere		12
in Erio. And the prankquean went for her forty years' walk in		13
Turnlemeem and she punched the curses of cromcruwell with		14
the nail of a top into the jiminy and she had her four larksical		15
monitrix to touch him his tears and she provorted him to the		16
onecertain allsecure and he became a tristian. So then she started		17
raining, raining, and in a pair of changers, be dom ter, she was		18
back again at Jarl von Hoother's and the Larryhill with her under		19
her abromette. And why would she halt at all if not by the ward		20
of his mansionhome of another nice lace for the third charm?		21
And Jarl von Hoother had his hurricane hips up to his pantry-		22
box, ruminating in his holdfour stomachs (Dare! O dare!), ant		23
the jiminy Toughertrees and the dummy were belove on the		24
watercloth, kissing and spitting, and roguing and poghuing, like		25
knavepaltry and naivebride and in their second infancy. And the		26
prankquean picked a blank and lit out and the valleys lay twink-		27
ling. And she made her wittest in front of the arkway of trihump,		28
asking: Mark the Tris, why do I am alook alike three poss of por-		29
ter pease? But that was how the skirtmishes endupped. For like		30
the campbells acoming with a fork lance of-lightning, Jarl von		31
Hoother Boanerges himself, the old terror of the dames, came		32
hip hop handihap out through the pikeopened arkway of his		33
three shuttoned castles, in his broadginger hat and his civic chol-		34
lar and his allabuff hemmed and his bullbraggin soxangloves		35
and his ladbroke breeks and his cattegut bandolair and his fur-		36

21
mien, we are in rearing of a norewhig. So weenybeeny-		1
veenyteeny. Comsy see! Het wis if ee newt. Lissom! lissom!		2
I am doing it. Hark, the corne entreats! And the larpnotes		3
prittle.		4
It was of a night, late, lang time agone, in an auldstane eld,		5
when Adam was delvin and his madameen spinning watersilts,		6
when mulk mountynotty man was everybully and the first leal		7
ribberrobber that ever had her ainway everybuddy to his love-		8
saking eyes and everybilly lived alove with everybiddy else, and		9
Jarl van Hoother had his burnt head high up in his lamphouse,		10
laying cold hands on himself. And his two little jiminies, cousins		11
of ourn, Tristopher and Hilary, were kickaheeling their dummy		12
on the oil cloth flure of his homerigh, castle and earthenhouse.		13
And, be dermot, who come to the keep of his inn only the niece-		14
of-his-in-law, the prankquean. And the prankquean pulled a rosy		15
one and made her wit foreninst the dour. And she lit up and fire-		16
land was ablaze. And spoke she to the dour in her petty perusi-		17
enne: Mark the Wans, why do I am alook alike a poss of porter-		18
pease? And that was how the skirtmisshes began. But the dour		19
handworded her grace in dootch nossow: Shut! So her grace		20
o'malice kidsnapped up the jiminy Tristopher and into the shan-		21
dy westerness she rain, rain, rain. And Jarl van Hoother war-		22
lessed after her with soft dovesgall: Stop deef stop come back to		23
my earin stop. But she swaradid to him: Unlikelihud. And there		24
was a brannewail that same sabboath night of falling angles some-		25
where in Erio. And the prankquean went for her forty years'		26
walk in Tourlemonde and she washed the blessings of the love-		27
spots off the jiminy with soap sulliver suddles and she had her		28
four owlers masters for to tauch him his tickles and she convor-		29
ted him to the onesure allgood and he became a luderman. So then		30
she started to rain and to rain and, be redtom, she was back again		31
at Jarl van Hoother's in a brace of samers and the jiminy with		32
her in her pinafrond, lace at night, at another time. And where		33
did she come but to the bar of his bristolry. And Jarl von Hoo-		34
ther had his baretholobruised heels drowned in his cellarmalt,		35
shaking warm hands with himself and the jimminy Hilary and		36

20
under the ban of our infrarational senses fore the last milch-		1
camel, the heartvein throbbing between his eyebrowns, has still to		2
moor before the tomb of his cousin charmian where his date is		3
tethered by the palm that's hers. But the horn, the drinking, the		4
day of dread are not now. A bone, a pebble, a ramskin; chip them,		5
chap them, cut them up allways; leave them to terracook in the		6
muttheringpot: and Gutenmorg with his cromagnom charter,		7
tintingfast and great primer must once for omniboss step rub-		8
rickredd out of the wordpress else is there no virtue more in al-		9
cohoran. For that (the rapt one warns) is what papyr is meed		10
of, made of, hides and hints and misses in prints. Till ye finally		11
(though not yet endlike) meet with the acquaintance of Mister		12
Typus, Mistress Tope and all the little typtopies. Fillstup. So you		13
need hardly spell me how every word will be bound over to carry		14
three score and ten toptypsical readings throughout the book of		15
Doublends Jined (may his forehead be darkened with mud who		16
would sunder!) till Daleth, mahomahouma, who oped it closeth		17
thereof the. Dor.		18
Cry not yet! There's many a smile to Nondum, with sytty		19
maids per man, sir, and the park's so dark by kindlelight. But		20
look what you have in your handself! The movibles are scrawl-		21
ing in motions, marching, all of them ago, in pitpat and zingzang		22
for every busy eerie whig's a bit of a torytale to tell. One's upon		23
a thyme and two's behind their lettice leap and three's among the		24
strubbely beds. And the chicks picked their teeths and the domb-		25
key he begay began. You can ask your ass if he believes it. And		26
so cuddy me only wallops have heels. That one of a wife with		27
folty barnets. For then was the age when hoops ran high. Of a		28
noarch and a chopwife; of a pomme full grave and a fammy of		29
levity; or of golden youths that wanted gelding; or of what the		30
mischievmiss made a man do. Malmarriedad he was reverso-		31
gassed by the frisque of her frasques and her prytty pyrrhique.		32
Maye faye, she's la gaye this snaky woman! From that trippiery		33
toe expectungpelick! Veil, volantine, valentine eyes. She's the		34
very besch Winnie blows Nay on good. Flou inn, flow ann.		35
Hohore! So it's sure it was her not we! But lay it easy, gentle		36

19
part so ptee does duty for the holos we soon grow to use of an		1
allforabit. Here (please to stoop) are selveran cued peteet peas of		2
quite a pecuniar interest inaslittle as they are the pellets that make		3
the tomtummy's pay roll. Right rank ragnar rocks and with these		4
rox orangotangos rangled rough and rightgorong. Wisha, wisha,		5
whydidtha? Thik is for thorn that's thuck in its thoil like thum-		6
fool's thraitor thrust for vengeance. What a mnice old mness it		7
all mnakes! A middenhide hoard of objects! Olives, beets, kim-		8
mells, dollies, alfrids, beatties, cormacks and daltons. Owlets' eegs		9
(O stoop to please!) are here, creakish from age and all now		10
quite epsilene, and oldwolldy wobblewers, haudworth a wipe o		11
grass. Sss! See the snake wurrums everyside! Our durlbin is		12
sworming in sneaks. They came to our island from triangular		13
Toucheaterre beyond the wet prairie rared up in the midst of the		14
cargon of prohibitive pomefructs but along landed Paddy Wip-		15
pingham and the his garbagecans cotched the creeps of them		16
pricker than our whosethere outofman could quick up her whats-		17
thats. Somedivide and sumthelot but the tally turns round the		18
same balifuson. Racketeers and bottloggers.		19
Axe on thwacks on thracks, axenwise. One by one place one		20
be three dittoh and one before. Two nursus one make a plaus-		21
ible free and idim behind. Starting off with a big boaboa and three-		22
legged calvers and ivargraine jadesses with a message in their		23
mouths. And a hundreadfilled unleavenweight of liberorumqueue		24
to con an we can till allhorrors eve. What a meanderthalltale to		25
unfurl and with what an end in view of squattor and anntisquattor		26
and postproneauntisquattor! To say too us to be every tim, nick		27
and larry of us, sons of the sod, sons, littlesons, yea and lealittle-		28
sons, when usses not to be, every sue, siss and sally of us, dugters		29
of Nan! Accusative ahnsire! Damadam to infinities		30
True there was in nillohs dieybos as yet no lumpend papeer		31
in the waste, and mightmountain Penn still groaned for the micies		32
to let flee. All was of ancientry. You gave me a boot (signs on		33
it!) and I ate the wind. I quizzed you a quid (with for what?) and		34
you went to the quod. But the world, mind, is, was and will be		35
writing its own wrunes for ever, man, on all matters that fall		36

18
Jute.     'Zmorde!		1
Mutt.     Meldundleize! By the fearse wave behoughted. Des-		2
pond's sung. And thanacestross mound have swollup		3
them all. This ourth of years is not save brickdust		4
and being humus the same roturns. He who runes		5
may rede it on all fours. O'c'stle, n'wc'stle, tr'c'stle,		6
crumbling! Sell me sooth the fare for Humblin! Hum-		7
blady Fair. But speak it allsosiftly, moulder! Be in		8
your whisht!		9
Jute.     Whysht?		10
Mutt.     The gyant Forficules with Amni the fay.		11
Jute.     Howe?		12
Mutt.     Here is viceking's graab.		13
Jute.     Hwaad !		14
Mutt.     Ore you astoneaged, jute you?		15
Jute.     Oye am thonthorstrok, thing mud.		16
(Stoop) if you are abcedminded, to this claybook, what curios		17
of signs (please stoop), in this allaphbed! Can you rede (since		18
We and Thou had it out already) its world? It is the same told		19
of all. Many. Miscegenations on miscegenations. Tieckle. They		20
lived und laughed ant loved end left. Forsin. Thy thingdome is		21
given to the Meades and Porsons. The meandertale, aloss and		22
again, of our old Heidenburgh in the days when Head-in-Clouds		23
walked the earth. In the ignorance that implies impression that		24
knits knowledge that finds the nameform that whets the wits that		25
convey contacts that sweeten sensation that drives desire that		26
adheres to attachment that dogs death that bitches birth that en-		27
tails the ensuance of existentiality. But with a rush out of his		28
navel reaching the reredos of Ramasbatham. A terricolous vively-		29
onview this; queer and it continues to be quaky. A hatch, a celt,		30
an earshare the pourquose of which was to cassay the earthcrust at		31
all of hours, furrowards, bagawards, like yoxen at the turnpaht.		32
Here say figurines billycoose arming and mounting. Mounting and		33
arming bellicose figurines see here. Futhorc, this liffle effingee is for		34
a firefing called a flintforfall. Face at the eased! O I fay! Face at the		35
waist! Ho, you fie! Upwap and dump em, ace to ace! When a		36