Autor: CaSch

69
not, has been the expression, direct or through an agent male, of		1
womanhid offended, (ah! ah!), has not levy of black mail from		2
the times the fairies were in it, and fain for wilde erthe blothoms		3
followed an impressive private reputation for whispered sins?		4
? ? Now by memory inspired, turn wheel again to the whole of		5
the wall. Where Gyant Blyant fronts Peannlueamoore There was		6
once upon a wall and a hooghoog wall a was and such a wall-		7
hole did exist. Ere ore or ire in Aaarlund. Or you Dair's Hair or		8
you Diggin Mosses or your horde of orts and oriorts to garble		9
a garthen of Odin and the lost paladays when all the eddams ended		10
with aves. Armen? The doun is theirs and still to see for menags		11
if he strikes a lousaforitch and we'll come to those baregazed		12
shoeshines if you just shoodov a second. And let oggs be good		13
old gaggles and Isther Estarr play Yesther Asterr. In the drema		14
of Sorestost Areas, Diseased. A stonehinged gate then was for		15
another thing while the suroptimist had bought and enlarged		16
that shack under fair rental of one yearlyng sheep, (prime) value		17
of sixpence, and one small yearlyng goat (cadet) value of eight-		18
pence, to grow old and happy (hogg it and kidd him) for the re-		19
minants of his years; and when everything was got up for the		20
purpose he put an applegate on the place by no means as some		21
pretext a bedstead in loo thereof to keep out donkeys (the pig-		22
dirt hanging from the jags to this hour makes that clear) and just		23
thenabouts the iron gape, by old custom left open to prevent		24
the cats from getting at the gout, was triplepatlockt on him on		25
purpose by his faithful poorters to keep him inside probably and		26
possibly enaunter he felt like sticking out his chest too far and		27
tempting gracious providence by a stroll on the peoplade's egg-		28
day, unused as he was yet to being freely clodded.		29
O, by the by, lets wee brag of praties, it ought to be always		30
remembered in connection with what has gone before that there		31
was a northroomer, Herr Betreffender, out for his zimmer hole-		32
digs, digging in number 32 at the Rum and Puncheon (Branch of		33
Dirty Dick's free house) in Laxlip (where the Sockeye Sammons		34
were stopping at the time orange fasting) prior to that, a Kom-		35
merzial (Gorbotipacco, he was wreaking like Zentral Oylrubber)		36

68
one day while dodging chores that she stripped teasily for binocu-		1
lar man and that her jambs were jimpjoyed to see each other, the		2
nautchy girly soon found her fruitful hat too small for her and		3
rapidly taking time, look, she rapidly took to necking, partying		4
and selling her spare favours in the haymow or in lumber closets		5
or in the greenawn ad huck (there are certain intimacies in all		6
ladies' lavastories we just lease to imagination) or in the sweet		7
churchyard close itself for a bit of soft coal or an array of thin		8
trunks, serving whom in fine that same hot coney a la Zingara		9
which our own little Graunya of the chilired cheeks dished up		10
to the greatsire of Oscar, that son of a Coole. Houri of the coast		11
of emerald, arrah of the lacessive poghue, Aslim-all-Muslim, the		12
resigned to her surrender, did not she, come leinster's even, true		13
dotter of a dearmud, (her pitch was Forty Steps and his perch old		14
Cromwell's Quarters) with so valkirry a licence as sent many a		15
poor pucker packing to perdition, again and again, ay, and again		16
sfidare him, tease fido, eh tease fido, eh eh tease fido, toos top-		17
ples topple, stop, dug of a dog of a dgiaour, ye! Angealousmei!		18
And did not he, like Arcoforty, farfar off Bissavolo, missbrand		19
her behaveyous with iridescent huecry of down right mean false		20
sop lap sick dope? Tawfulsdreck! A reine of the shee, a shebeen		21
quean, a queen of pranks. A kingly man, of royal mien, regally		22
robed, exalted be his glory! So gave so take: Now not, not now!		23
He would just a min. Suffering trumpet! He thought he want.		24
Whath? Hear, O hear, living of the land! Hungreb, dead era,		25
hark! He hea, eyes ravenous on her lippling lills. He hear her voi		26
of day gon by. He hears! Zay, zay, zay! But, by the beer of his		27
profit, he cannot answer. Upterputty till rise and shine! Nor needs		28
none shaft ne stele from Phenicia or Little Asia to obelise on		29
the spout, neither pobalclock neither folksstone, nor sunkenness		30
in Tomar's Wood to bewray how erpressgangs score off the rued.		31
The mouth that tells not will ever attract the unthinking tongue		32
and so long as the obseen draws theirs which hear not so long		33
till allearth's dumbnation shall the blind lead the deaf. Tatcho,		34
tawney yeeklings! The column of lumps lends the pattrin of the		35
leaves behind us. If violence to life, limb and chattels, often as		36

67
boleros one games with at the Nivynubies' finery ball and your		1
upright grooms that always come right up with you (and by jingo		2
when they do!) what else in this mortal world, now ours, when		3
meet there night, mid their nackt, me there naket, made their		4
nought the hour strikes, would bring them rightcame back in the		5
flesh, thumbs down, to their orses and their hashes.		6
To proceed. We might leave that nitrience of oxagiants to take		7
its free of the air and just analectralyse that very chymerical com-		8
bination, the gasbag where the warderworks. And try to pour		9
somour heiterscene up thealmostfere. In the bottled heliose case		10
continuing, Long Lally Tobkids, the special, sporting a fine breast		11
of medals, and a conscientious scripturereader to boot in the brick		12
and tin choorch round the coroner, swore like a Norewheezian		13
tailliur on the stand before the proper functionary that he was up		14
against a right querrshnorrt of a mand in the butcher of the blues		15
who, he guntinued, on last epening after delivering some car-		16
casses mattonchepps and meatjutes on behalf of Messrs Otto		17
Sands and Eastman, Limericked, Victuallers, went and, with his		18
unmitigated astonissment, hickicked at the dun and dorass against		19
all the runes and, when challenged about the pretended hick (it		20
was kickup and down with him) on his solemn by the imputant		21
imputed, said simply: I appop pie oath, Phillyps Captain. You		22
did, as I sostressed before. You are deepknee in error, sir, Madam		23
Tomkins, let me then tell you, replied with a gentlewomanly		24
salaam MackPartland, (the meatman's family, and the oldest in		25
the world except nick, name.) And Phelps was flayful with his		26
peeler. But his phizz fell.		27
Now to the obverse. From velveteens to dimities is barely a		28
fivefinger span and hence these camelback excesses are thought		29
to have been instigated by one or either of the causing causes of		30
all, those rushy hollow heroines in their skirtsleeves, be she ma-		31
gretta be she the posque. Oh! Oh! Because it is a horrible thing		32
to have to say to say to day but one dilalah, Lupita Lorette, short-		33
ly after in a fit of the unexpectednesses drank carbolic with all		34
her dear placid life before her and paled off while the other		35
soiled dove that's her sister-in-love, Luperca Latouche, finding		36

66
several of the earmarks of design, for there is in fact no use in		1
putting a tooth in a snipery of that sort and the amount of all		2
those sort of things which has been going on onceaday in and		3
twiceaday out every other nachtistag among all kinds of pro-		4
miscious individuals at all ages in private homes and reeboos		5
publikiss and allover all and elsewhere throughout secular		6
sequence the country over and overabroad has been particularly		7
stupendous. To be continued. Federals' Uniteds' Transports'		8
Unions' for Exultations' of Triumphants' Ecstasies.		9
But resuming inquiries. Will it ever be next morning the postal		10
unionist's (officially called carrier's, Letters Scotch, Limited)		11
strange fate (Fierceendgiddyex he's hight, d.e., the losel that		12
hucks around missivemaids' gummibacks) to hand in a huge		13
chain envelope, written in seven divers stages of ink, from blanch-		14
essance to lavandaiette, every pothook and pancrook bespaking		15
the wisherwife, superscribed and subpencilled by yours A Laugh-		16
able Party, with afterwite, S.A.G., to Hyde and Cheek, Eden-		17
berry, Dubblenn, WC? Will whatever will be written in lappish		18
language with inbursts of Maggyer always seem semposed, black		19
looking white and white guarding black, in that siamixed twoa-		20
talk used twist stern swift and jolly roger? Will it bright upon us,		21
nightle, and we plunging to our plight? Well, it might now, mircle,		22
so it light. Always and ever till Cox's wife, twice Mrs Hahn, pokes		23
her beak into the matter with Owen K. after her, to see whawa		24
smutter after, will this kiribis pouch filled with litterish frag-		25
ments lurk dormant in the paunch of that halpbrother of a herm,		26
a pillarbox?		27
? ? The coffin, a triumph of the illusionist's art, at first blench		28
naturally taken for a handharp (it is handwarp to tristinguish		29
jubabe from jabule or either from tubote when all three have just		30
been invened) had been removed from the hardware premises of		31
Oetzmann and Nephew, a noted house of the gonemost west,		32
which in the natural course of all things continues to supply		33
funeral requisites of every needed description. Why needed,		34
though? Indeed needed (wouldn't you feel like rattanfowl if you		35
hadn't the oscar!) because the flash brides or bride in their lily		36

65
they're raised on bruised stone root ginger though it winters on		1
their heads as if auctumned round their waistbands. If you'd had		2
pains in your hairs you wouldn't look so orgibald. You'd have		3
Colley Macaires on your lump of lead. Now listen, Mr Leer!		4
And stow that sweatyfunnyadams Simper! Take an old geeser		5
who calls on his skirt. Note his sleek hair, so elegant, tableau		6
vivant. He vows her to be his own honeylamb, swears they will		7
be papa pals, by Sam, and share good times way down west in a		8
guaranteed happy lovenest when May moon she shines and they		9
twit twinkle all the night, combing the comet's tail up right and		10
shooting popguns at the stars. Creampuffs all to dime! Every		11
nice, missymackenzies! For dear old grumpapar, he's gone on		12
the razzledar, through gazing and crazing and blazing at the stars.		13
Compree! She wants her wardrobe to hear from above by return		14
with cash so as she can buy her Peter Robinson trousseau and cut		15
a dash with Arty, Bert or possibly Charley Chance (who knows?)		16
so tolloll Mr Hunker you're too dada for me to dance (so off she		17
goes !) and that's how half the gels in town has got their bottom		18
drars while grumpapar he's trying to hitch his braces on to his		19
trars. But old grum he's not so clean dippy between sweet you		20
and yum (not on your life, boy! not in those trousers! not by a		21
large jugful!) for someplace on the sly, where Furphy he isn't by,		22
old grum has his gel number two (bravevow, our Grum!) and he		23
would like to canoodle her too some part of the time for he is		24
downright fond of his number one but O he's fair mashed on		25
peaches number two so that if he could only canoodle the two,		26
chivee chivoo, all three would feel genuinely happy, it's as simple		27
as A. B. C., the two mixers, we mean, with their cherrybum		28
chappy (for he is simply shamming dippy) if they all were afloat		29
in a dreamlifeboat, hugging two by two in his zoo-doo-you-doo,		30
a tofftoff for thee, missymissy for me and howcameyou-e'enso for		31
Farber, in his tippy, upindown dippy, tiptoptippy canoodle, can		32
you? Finny.		33
Ack, ack, ack. With which clap, trap and soddenment, three to		34
a loaf, our mutual friends the fender and the bottle at the gate seem		35
to be implicitly in the same bateau, so to singen, bearing also		36

64
shtemp and jumphet to the tiltyard from the wastes a'sleep in his		1
obi ohny overclothes or choker, attracted by the norse of guns		2
playing Delandy is cartager on the raglar rock to Dulyn, said		3
war' prised safe in bed as he dreamed that he'd wealthes in mor-		4
mon halls when wokenp by a fourth loud snore out of his land		5
of byelo while hickstrey's maws was grazing in the moonlight		6
by hearing hammering on the pandywhank scale emanating from		7
the blind pig and anything like it (oonagh! oonagh!) in the		8
whole history of the Mullingcan Inn he never. This battering		9
babel allower the door and sideposts, he always said, was not in		10
the very remotest like the belzey babble of a bottle of boose		11
which would not rouse him out o' slumber deep but reminded		12
him loads more of the martiallawsey marses of foreign musi-		13
kants' instrumongs or the overthrewer to the third last days of		14
Pompery, if anything. And that after this most nooningless		15
knockturn the young reine came down desperate and the old		16
liffopotamus started ploring all over the plains, as mud as she		17
cud be, ruinating all the bouchers' schurts and the backers'		18
wischandtugs so that be the chandeleure of the Rejaneyjailey		19
they were all night wasching the walters of, the weltering walters		20
off. Whyte.		21
Just one moment. A pinch in time of the ideal, musketeers!		22
Alphos, Burkos and Caramis, leave Astrelea for the astrollajerries		23
and for the love of the saunces and the honour of Keavens pike		24
puddywhackback to Pamintul. And roll away the reel world, the		25
reel world, the reel world! And call all your smokeblushes,		26
Snowwhite and Rosered, if you will have the real cream! Now for		27
a strawberry frolic! Filons, filoosh! Cherchons la flamme! Famm-		28
famm! Fammfamm!		29
Come on, ordinary man with that large big nonobli head, and		30
that blanko berbecked fischial ekksprezzion Machinsky Scapolo-		31
polos, Duzinascu or other. Your machelar's mutton leg's getting		32
musclebound from being too pulled. Noah Beery weighed stone		33
thousand one when Hazel was a hen. Now her fat's falling fast.		34
Therefore, chatbags, why not yours? There are 29 sweet reasons		35
why blossomtime's the best. Elders fall for green almonds when		36

63
ing in a bytheway that he, the crawsopper, had, in edition to		1
Reade's cutless centiblade, a loaded Hobson's which left only twin		2
alternatives as, viceversa, either he would surely shoot her, the		3
aunt, by pistol, (she could be okaysure of that!) or, failing of such,		4
bash in Patch's blank face beyond recognition, pointedly asked		5
with gaeilish gall wodkar blizzard's business Thornton had with		6
that Kane's fender only to be answered by the aggravated		7
assaulted that that that was the snaps for him, Midweeks, to sultry		8
well go and find out if he was showery well able. But how trans-		9
paringly nontrue, gentlewriter ! His feet one is not a tall man, not		10
at all, man. No such parson. No such fender. No such lumber. No		11
such race. Was it supposedly in connection with a girls, Myramy		12
Huey or Colores Archer, under Flaggy Bridge (for ann there is		13
but one liv and hir newbridge is her old) or to explode his		14
twelvechamber and force a shrievalty entrance that the heavybuilt		15
Abelbody in a butcherblue blouse from One Life One Suit (a		16
men's wear store), with a most decisive bottle of single in his		17
possession, seized after dark by the town guard at Haveyou-		18
caught-emerod's temperance gateway was there in a gate's way.		19
Fifthly, how parasoliloquisingly truetoned on his first time of		20
hearing the wretch's statement that, muttering Irish, he had had		21
had o'gloriously a'lot too much hanguest or hoshoe fine to		22
drink in the House of Blazes, the Parrot in Hell, the Orange Tree,		23
the Glibt, the Sun, the Holy Lamb and, lapse not leashed, in		24
Ramitdown's ship hotel since the morning moment he could		25
dixtinguish a white thread from a black till the engine of the		26
laws declosed unto Murray and was only falling fillthefluthered		27
up against the gatestone pier which, with the cow's bonnet		28
a'top o'it, he falsetook for a cattlepillar with purest peaceablest		29
intentions. Yet how lamely hobbles the hoy of his then pseudo-		30
jocax axplanation how, according to his own story, he was a		31
process server and was merely trying to open zozimus a bottlop		32
stoub by mortially hammering his magnum bonum (the curter the		33
club the sorer the savage) against the bludgey gate for the boots		34
about the swan, Maurice Behan, who hastily into his shoes with		35
nothing his hald barra tinnteack and came down with homp,		36

62
his citadear of refuge, whither (would we believe the laimen and		1
their counts), beyond the outraved gales of Atreeatic, changing		2
clues with a baggermalster, the hejirite had fled, silentioussue-		3
meant under night's altosonority, shipalone, a raven of the wave,		4
(be mercy, Mara! A he whence Rahoulas!) from the ostmen's		5
dirtby on the old vic, to forget in expiating manslaughter and,		6
reberthing in remarriment out of dead seekness to devine previ-		7
dence, (if you are looking for the bilder deep your ear on the		8
movietone!) to league his lot, palm and patte, with a papishee.		9
For mine qvinne I thee giftake and bind my hosenband I thee		10
halter. The wastobe land, a lottuse land, a luctuous land, Emerald-		11
illuim, the peasant pastured, in which by the fourth commandment		12
with promise his days apostolic were to be long by the abundant		13
mercy of Him Which Thundereth From On High, murmured,		14
would rise against him with all which in them were, franchisab-		15
les and inhabitands, astea as agora, helotsphilots, do him hurt,		16
poor jink, ghostly following bodily, as were he made a curse for		17
them, the corruptible lay quick, all saints of incorruption-of-an		18
holy nation, the common or ere-in-garden castaway, in red re-		19
surrection to condemn so they might convince him, first pha-		20
roah, Humpheres Cheops Exarchas, of their proper sins. Busi-		21
ness bred to speak with a stiff upper lip to all men and most occa-		22
sions the Man we wot of took little short of fighting chances but		23
for all that he or his or his care were subjected to the horrors of		24
the premier terror of Errorland. (perorhaps!)		25
We seem to us (the real Us !) to be reading our Amenti in the		26
sixth sealed chapter of the going forth by black. It was after the		27
show at Wednesbury that one tall man, humping a suspicious		28
parcel, when returning late amid a dense particular on his home		29
way from the second house of the Boore and Burgess Christy		30
Menestrels by the old spot, Roy's Corner, had a barkiss revolver		31
placed to his faced with the words: you're shot, major: by an un-		32
knowable assailant (masked) against whom he had been jealous		33
over, Lotta Crabtree or Pomona Evlyn. More than that Whenn		34
the Waylayer (not a Lucalizod diocesan or even of the Glenda-		35
lough see, but hailing fro' the prow of Little Britain), mention-		36

61
scenities, una mona. Sylvia Silence, the girl detective (Meminerva,		1
but by now one hears turtlings all over Doveland!) when supplied		2
with informations as to the several facets of the case in her cozy-		3
dozy bachelure's flat, quite overlooking John a'Dream's mews,		4
leaned back in her really truly easy chair to query restfully through		5
her vowelthreaded syllabelles: Have you evew thought, wepow-		6
tew, that sheew gweatness was his twadgedy? Nevewtheless ac-		7
cowding to my considewed attitudes fow this act he should pay		8
the full penalty, pending puwsuance, as pew Subsec. 32, section		9
II, of the C. L. A. act 1885, anything in this act to the contwawy		10
notwithstanding. Jarley Jilke began to silke for he couldn't get		11
home to Jelsey but ended with: He's got the sack that helped him		12
moult instench of his gladsome rags. Meagher, a naval rating,		13
seated on one of the granite cromlech setts of our new fish-		14
shambles for the usual aireating after the ever popular act, with		15
whom were Questa and Puella, piquante and quoite, (this had a		16
cold in her brain while that felt a sink in her summock, wit's		17
wat, wot's wet) was encouraged, although nearvanashed himself,		18
by one of his co-affianced to get your breath, Walt, and gobbit		19
and when ther chidden by her fastra sastra to saddle up your		20
pance, Naville, thus cor replied to her other's thankskissing: I		21
lay my two fingerbuttons, fiancee Meagher, (he speaks!) he was		22
to blame about your two velvetthighs up Horniman's Hill --- as		23
hook and eye blame him or any other piscman? --- but I also		24
think, Puellywally, by the siege of his trousers there was some-		25
one else behind it --- you bet your boughtem blarneys --- about		26
their three drummers down Keysars Lane. (Trite!).		27
? ? Be these meer marchant taylor's fablings of a race referend		28
with oddman rex? Is now all seenheard then forgotten? Can it		29
was, one is fain in this leaden age of letters now to wit, that so		30
diversified outrages (they have still to come!) were planned and		31
partly carried out against so staunch a covenanter if it be true		32
than any of those recorded ever took place for many, we trow,		33
beyessed to and denayed of, are given to us by some who use		34
the truth but sparingly and we, on this side ought to sorrow for		35
their pricking pens on that account. The seventh city, Urovivla,		36

60
Spilltears Rue) was thus expressed: to sympathisers of the Dole		1
Line, Death Avenue, anent those objects of her pity-prompted		2
ministrance, to wet, man and his syphon. Ehim! It is ever too		3
late to whissle when Phyllis floods her stable. It would be skar-		4
lot shame to jailahim in lockup, as was proposed to him by the		5
Seddoms creature what matter what merrytricks went off with		6
his revulverher in connections with ehim being a norphan and		7
enjoining such wicked illth, ehim! Well done, Drumcollakill!		8
Kitty Tyrrel is proud of you, was the reply of a B.O.T. official		9
(O blame gnot the board !) while the Daughters Benkletter mur-		10
mured in uniswoon: Golforgilhisjurylegs! Brian Lynsky, the cub		11
curser, was questioned at his shouting box, Bawlonabraggat, and		12
gave a snappy comeback, when saying: Paw! Once more I'll		13
hellbowl! I am for caveman chase and sahara sex, burk you! Them		14
two bitches ought to be leashed, canem! Up hog and hoar hunt!		15
Paw! A wouldbe martyr, who is attending on sanit Asitas where		16
he is being taught to wear bracelets, when grilled on the point,		17
revealed the undoubted fact that the consequence would be that		18
so long as Sankya Moondy played his mango tricks under the		19
mysttetry, with shady apsaras sheltering in his leaves' licence and		20
his shadowers torrifried by the potent bolts of indradiction, there		21
would be fights all over Cuxhaven. (Tosh!) Missioner Ida Womb-		22
well, the seventeenyearold revivalist, said concerning the coinci-		23
dent of interfizzing with grenadines and other respectable and		24
disgusted peersons using the park: That perpendicular person is		25
a brut! But a magnificent brut! 'Caligula' (Mr Danl Magrath,		26
bookmaker, wellknown to Eastrailian poorusers of the Sydney		27
Parade Ballotin) was, as usual, antipodal with his: striving todie,		28
hopening tomellow, Ware Splash. Cobbler. We have meat two		29
hourly, sang out El Caplan Buycout, with the famous padre's		30
turridur's capecast, meet too ourly, matadear! Dan Meiklejohn,		31
precentor, of S.S. Smack and Olley's was probiverbal with his		32
upsiduxit: mutatus mutandus. Dauran's lord ('Sniffpox') and Moir-		33
gan's lady ('Flatterfun') took sides and crossed and bowed to		34
each other's views and recrossed themselves. The dirty dubs upin		35
their flies, went too free, echoed the dainly drabs downin their		36