Autor: CaSch

49
whistled him before he had curtains up they are whistling him		1
still after his curtain's doom's doom. Ei fu. His husband, poor old		2
A'Hara (Okaroff?) crestfallen by things and down at heels at the		3
time, they squeak, accepted the (Zassnoch!) ardree's shilling at		4
the conclusion of the Crimean war and, having flown his wild		5
geese, alohned in crowds to warnder on like Shuley Luney,		6
enlisted in Tyrone's horse, the Irish whites, and soldiered a bit		7
with Wolsey under the assumed name of Blanco Fusilovna Buck-		8
lovitch (spurious) after which the cawer and the marble halls		9
of Pump Court Columbarium, the home of the old seakings,		10
looked upon each other and queth their haven evermore for it		11
transpires that on the other side of the water it came about that on		12
the field of Vasileff's Cornix inauspiciously with his unit he		13
perished, saying, this papal leafless to old chap give, rawl chaw-		14
clates for mouther-in-louth. Booil. Poor old dear Paul Horan,		15
to satisfy his literary as well as his criminal aspirations, at the		16
suggestion thrown out by the doomster in loquacity lunacy, so		17
says the Dublin Intelligence, was thrown into a Ridley's for		18
inmates in the northern counties. Under the name of Orani he		19
may have been the utility man of the troupe capable of sustain-		20
ing long parts at short notice. He was. Sordid Sam, a dour decent		21
deblancer, the unwashed, haunted always by his ham, the unwished,		22
at a word from Israfel the Summoner, passed away painlessly		23
after life's upsomdowns one hallowe'en night, ebbrous and in		24
the state of nature, propelled from Behind into the great Beyond		25
by footblows coulinclouted upon his oyster and atlas on behanged		26
and behooved and behicked and behulked of his last fishandblood		27
bedscrappers, a Northwegian and his mate of the Sheawolving		28
class. Though the last straw glimt his baring this stage thunkhard		29
is said (the pitfallen gagged him as 'Promptboxer') to have		30
solemnly said?--- as had the brief thot but fell in till his head like		31
a bass dropt neck fust in till a bung crate (cogged!): Me drames,		32
O'Loughlins, has come through! Now let the centuple celves of		33
my egourge as Micholas de Cusack calls them, ---?of all of whose		34
I in my hereinafter of course by recourse demission me --- by		35
the coincidance of their contraries reamalgamerge in that indentity		36

48
Chest Cee! 'Sdense! Corpo di barragio! you spoof of visibility		1
in a freakfog, of mixed sex cases among goats, hill cat and plain		2
mousey, Bigamy Bob and his old Shanvocht! The Blackfriars		3
treacle plaster outrage be liddled! Therewith was released in that		4
kingsrick of Humidia a poisoning volume of cloud barrage indeed.		5
Yet all they who heard or redelivered are now with that family		6
of bards and Vergobretas himself and the crowd of Caraculacticors		7
as much no more as be they not yet now or had they then not-		8
ever been. Canbe in some future we shall presently here amid		9
those zouave players of Inkermann the mime mumming the mick		10
and his nick miming their maggies, Hilton St Just (Mr Frank		11
Smith), Ivanne Ste Austelle (Mr J. F. Jones), Coleman of Lucan		12
taking four parts, a choir of the O'Daley O'Doyles doublesixing		13
the chorus in Fenn Mac Call and the Serven Feeries of Loch Neach,		14
Galloper Troppler and Hurleyquinn the zitherer of the past with his		15
merrymen all, zimzim, zimzim. Of the persins sin this Eyrawyg-		16
gla saga (which, thorough readable to int from and, is from tubb		17
to buttom all falsetissues, antilibellous and nonactionable and this		18
applies to its whole wholume) of poor Osti-Fosti, described as		19
quite a musical genius in a small way and the owner of an		20
exceedingly niced ear, with tenorist voice to match, not alone,		21
but a very major poet of the poorly meritary order (he began		22
Tuonisonian but worked his passage up as far as the we-all-		23
hang-together Animandovites) no one end is known. If they		24

47
He ought to blush for himself, the old hayheaded philosopher,		1
For to go and shove himself that way on top of her.		2
Begob, he's the crux of the catalogue		3
Of our antediluvial zoo,		4
(Chorus) Messrs. Billing and Coo.		5
Noah's larks, good as noo.		6
		7
He was joulting by Wellinton's monument		8
Our rotorious hippopopotamuns		9
When some bugger let down the backtrap of the omnibus		10
And he caught his death of fusiliers,		11
(Chorus) With his rent in his rears.		12
Give him six years.		13
		14
Tis sore pity for his innocent poor children		15
But look out for his missus legitimate!		16
When that frew gets a grip of old Earwicker		17
Won't there be earwigs on the green?		18
(Chorus) Big earwigs on the green,		19
The largest ever you seen.		20
		21
Suffoclose! Shikespower! Seudodanto! Anonymoses!		22
		23
Then we'll have a free trade Gaels' band and mass meeting		24
For to sod the brave son of Scandiknavery.		25
And we'll bury him down in Oxmanstown		26
Along with the devil and Danes,		27
(Chorus) With the deaf and dumb Danes,		28
And all their remains.		29
		30
And not all the king's men nor his horses		31
Will resurrect his corpus		32
For there's no true spell in Connacht or hell		33
(bis) That's able to raise a Cain.		34

46
Small wonder He'll Cheat E'erawan our local lads nicknamed him		1
When Chimpden first took the floor		2
(Chorus) With his bucketshop store		3
Down Bargainweg, Lower.		4
		5
So snug he was in his hotel premises sumptuous		6
But soon we'll bonfire all his trash, tricks and trumpery		7
And'tis short till sheriff Clancy'll be winding up his unlimited		8
[company		9
With the bailiff's bom at the door,		10
(Chorus) Bimbam at the door.		11
Then he'll bum no more.		12
		13
Sweet bad luck on the waves washed to our island		14
The hooker of that hammerfast viking		15
And Gall's curse on the day when Eblana bay		16
Saw his black and tan man-o'-war.		17
(Chorus) Saw his man-o'-war.		18
On the harbour bar.		19
		20
Where from? roars Poolbeg. Cookingha'pence, he bawls Donnez-		21
[moi scampitle, wick an wipin'fampiny		22
Fingal Mac Oscar Onesine Bargearse Boniface		23
Thok's min gammelhole Norveegickers moniker		24
Og as ay are at gammelhore Norveegickers cod.		25
(Chorus) A Norwegian camel old cod.		26
He is, begod.		27
		28
Lift it, Hosty, lift it, ye devil ye! up with the rann, the rhyming		29
[rann!		30
It was during some fresh water garden pumping		31
Or, according to the Nursing Mirror, while admiring the mon-		32
[keys		33
That our heavyweight heathen Humpharey		34
Made bold a maid to woo		35
(Chorus) Woohoo, what'll she doo!		36
The general lost her maidenloo!		37

45
Have you heard of one Humpty Dumpty		1
How he fell with a roll and a rumble		2
And curled up like Lord Olofa Crumple		3
By the butt of the Magazine Wall,		4
(Chorus) Of the Magazine Wall,?		5
Hump, helmet and all??		6
		6
He was one time our King of the Castle		7
Now he's kicked about like a rotten old parsnip.		8
And from Green street he'll be sent by order of His Worship		9
To the penal jail of Mountjoy		10
(Chorus) To the jail of Mountjoy!?		12
Jail him and joy.?		13
		14
He was fafafather of all schemes for to bother us		15
Slow coaches and immaculate contraceptives for the populace,		16
Mare's milk for the sick, seven dry Sundays a week,		17
Openair love and religion's reform,		18
(Chorus) And religious reform,?		19
Hideous in form.		20
		21
Arrah, why, says you, couldn't he manage it?		22
I'll go bail, my fine dairyman darling,		23
Like the bumping bull of the Cassidys		24
All your butter is in your horns.		25
(Chorus) His butter is in his horns.?		26
Butter his horns!		27
		28
(Repeat) Hurrah there, Hosty, frosty Hosty, change that shirt		29
[on ye,?		30
Rhyme the rann, the king of all ranns!		31
Balbaccio, balbuccio!		32
We had chaw chaw chops, chairs, chewing gum, the chicken-		33
[pox and china chambers?		34
Universally provided by this soffsoaping salesman.		35

44
snowycrested curl amoist the leader's wild and moulting hair,		1
Ductor' Hitchcock hoisted his fezzy fuzz at bludgeon's height		2
signum to his companions of the chalice for the Loud Fellow,		3
boys' and silentium in curia! (our maypole once more where he rose		4
of old) and the canto was chantied there chorussed and christened		5
where by the old tollgate, Saint Annona's Street and Church.		6
And around the lawn the rann it rann and this is the rann that?		7
Hosty made. Spoken. Boyles and Cahills, Skerretts and Pritchards,		8
viersified and piersified may the treeth we tale of live in stoney.		9
Here line the refrains of. Some vote him Vike, some mote him		10
Mike, some dub him Llyn and Phin while others hail him Lug		11
Bug Dan Lop, Lex, Lax, Gunne or Guinn. Some apt him Arth,		12
some bapt him Barth, Coll, Noll, Soll, Will, Weel, Wall but I		13
parse him Persse O'Reilly else he's called no name at all. To-		14
gether. Arrah, leave it to Hosty, frosty Hosty, leave it to Hosty		15
for he's the mann to rhyme the rann, the rann, the rann, the king		16
of all ranns. Have you here? (Some ha) Have we where? (Some		17
hant) Have you hered? (Others do) Have we whered? (Others dont)		18
It's cumming, it's brumming! The clip, the clop! (All cla) Glass		19
crash. The (klikkaklakkaklaskaklopatzklatschabattacreppycrotty-		20
graddaghsemmihsammihnouithappluddyappladdypkonpkot!).		21
Ardite, arditi!
Music cue.

43
going ladies from Hume Street in their chairs, the bearers baited,		1
some wandering hamalags out of the adjacent cloverfields of		2
Mosse's Gardens, an oblate father from Skinner's Alley, brick-		3
layers, a fleming, in tabinet fumant, with spouse and dog, an aged		4
hammersmith who had some chisellers by the hand, a bout of		5
cudgel players, not a few sheep with the braxy, two bluecoat		6
scholars, four broke gents out of Simpson's on the Rocks, a		7
portly and a pert still tassing Turkey Coffee and orange shrub in		8
tickeyes door, Peter Pim and Paul Fry and then Elliot and, O,		9
Atkinson, suffering hell's delights from the blains of their annui-		10
tants' acorns not forgetting a deuce of dianas ridy for the hunt, a		11
particularist prebendary pondering on the roman easter, the ton-		12
sure question and greek uniates, plunk em, a lace lappet head or		13
two or three or four from a window, and so on down to a few good		14
old souls, who, as they were juiced after taking their pledge over at		15
the uncle's place, were evidently under the spell of liquor, from the		16
wake of Tarry the Tailor a fair girl, a jolly postoboy thinking off		17
three flagons and one, a plumodrole, a half sir from the weaver's		18
almshouse who clings and clings and chatchatchat clings to her, a		19
wholedam's cloudhued pittycoat, as child, as curiolater, as Caoch		20
O'Leary. The wararrow went round, so it did, (a nation wants		21
a gaze) and the ballad, in the felibrine trancoped metre affectioned		22
by Taiocebo in his Casudas de Poulichinello Artahut, stump-		23
stampaded on to a slip of blancovide and headed by an excessively		24
rough and red woodcut, privately printed at the rimepress of		25
Delville, soon fluttered its secret on white highway and brown		26
byway to the rose of the winds and the blew of the gaels, from		27
archway to lattice and from black hand to pink ear, village crying		28
to village, through the five pussyfours green of the united states		29
of Scotia Picta ? ? ?and he who denays it, may his hairs be rubbed		30
in dirt! To the added strains (so peacifold) of his majesty the		31
flute, that onecrooned king of inscrewments, Piggott's purest, ciello		32
alsoliuto, which Mr Delaney (Mr Delacey?), horn, anticipating		33
a perfect downpour of plaudits among the rapsods, piped		34
out of his decentsoort hat, looking still more like his purseyful		35
namesake as men of Gaul noted, but before of to sputabout, the		36

42
along, the trio of whackfolthediddlers was joined by a further ? ? ?		1
intentions---apply---tomorrow casual and a decent sort of the		2
hadbeen variety who had just been touching the weekly insult,		3
phewit, and all figblabbers (who saith of noun?) had stimulants		4
in the shape of gee and gees stood by the damn decent sort after		5
which stag luncheon and a few ones more just to celebrate yester-		6
day, flushed with their firestuffostered friendship, the rascals came		7
out of the licensed premises, (Browne's first, the small p.s. ex-ex-		8
executive capahand in their sad rear like a lady's postscript: I want		9
money. Pleasend), wiping their laughleaking lipes on their sleeves,		10
how the bouckaleens shout their roscan generally (seinn fion,		11
seinn fion's araun.) and the rhymers' world was with reason the		12
richer for a wouldbe ballad, to the balledder of which the world		13
of cumannity singing owes a tribute for having placed on the		14
planet's melomap his lay of the vilest bogeyer but most attrac-		15
tionable avatar the world has ever had to explain for.		16
This, more krectly lubeen or fellow --- me --- lieder was first		17
poured forth where Riau Liviau riots and col de Houdo humps,		18
under the shadow of the monument of the shouldhavebeen legis-		19
lator (Eleutheriodendron! Spare, woodmann, spare!) to an over-		20
flow meeting of all the nations in Lenster fullyfilling the visional		21
area and, as a singleminded supercrowd, easily representative,		22
what with masks, whet with faces, of all sections and cross sections		23
(wineshop and cocoahouse poured out to brim up the broaching)		24
of our liffeyside people (to omit to mention of the mainland mino-		25
rity and such as had wayfared via Watling, Ernin, Icknild and		26
Stane, in chief a halted cockney car with its quotal of Hardmuth's		27
hacks, a northern tory, a southern whig, an eastanglian chroni-		28
cler and a landwester guardian) ranging from slips of young		29
dublinos from Cutpurse Row having nothing better to do than		30
walk about with their hands in their kneepants, sucking air-		31
whackers, weedulicet, jumbobricks, side by side with truant		32
officers, three woollen balls and poplin in search of a croust of		33
pawn to busy professional gentlemen, a brace of palesmen with		34
dundrearies, nooning toward Daly's, fresh from snipehitting and		35
mallardmissing on Rutland heath, exchanging cold sneers, mass-		36